A Romantic Story in Ozarks Vernacular English

Welcome to Reality

This is a slow-blooming, truth-filled story of teenagers growing up in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas, where surviving with a uterus takes more than just courage.

Kelsey Lou Faye Farmer, 15, is wrestling with a crisis they don’t yet have words for; while their little sister’s crisis, for which countless known words exist, demands center stage in her older sibling’s life.

Evangelicals. Boys. Vegetables. Captain Picard. Kelsey Lou’s life is as normal as anyone’s can be in this chaotically magical region filled with equal parts wonder, horror, and wisdom.

Like our lives, this story is written one chapter at a time and shared with the world as the truth unfolds. I am as excited as you to find out what happens next. Subscribe below to find out what happens in the next chapter just as soon as I do.

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    • 1 A Romantic Story in Ozark Vernacular English
      “Well ain’t you pertty as a chrome skull on the hood of a Chevy drivin’ down a paved road,” Junior smiled as he took off his hat. Kelsey Lou Faye didn’t care for the dress her mama’d made for her. It waddn’t pretty like Dolly’s Coat of Many Colors. Kelsey Lou’s mama had stitched this dress with bitterness and spite — the kind that attracted the attention of good ol’ boys like Junior.
    • 2 Stretching in the Fog
      The morning air was foggy enough to see it wasn’t still, and still enough to not see anything at all beyond the cloud. Looking out the upstairs bedroom window, Kelsey Lou Faye tapped her fingers against her thigh without any particular rhythm. She knew the sun was up ‘cause the fog was gray instead of black, but there was no knowin’ how long now it’d be before Ma’d wake up and start makin’ the whole family wish they’d died in their sleep.
    • 3 The Walk
      The Ozarks produced some of the finest, most inspiring folks theyd’ve ever met, just as it had also beaten and stripped them of their life’s potential in the same swift stroke of God’s paintbrush, the very moment God seen fit to place them in the U.S. South on the divine canvas of possibilities.
    • 4 Class
      Kelsey Lou felt the weight of this truth, sittin’ beside Mr. Bybee smackin’ dip under his lip in American History. Even though he was asking for her homework, not sex, it felt the same. Fact was, she’d said no, and he wouldn’t take the answer she gave him.
    • 5 Growing Seeds
      Kelsey Lou and sister Karly Lynn must team up to protect one another against the forces of Patriarchy encroaching on their garden, invading their home, and squashing their hopes for real romance – or their futures – to ever blossom.
    • 6 Searching for Stories
      The mystical magic of the Ozarks takes Kelsey Lou for a strange ride as she goes on a quest for information to help her sister – and reckons with unexpected aspects of herself and her community along the way.
    • Kelsey Lou and James walking out of the Dickson Street Bookshop, where an unhoused man stands in the corner behind them leaning against the wall
      7 I, Too, Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
      Kelsey Lou had never heard a real romantic story in Ozarks vernacular English before. But here… James told this story of unintended, quintessential romance in their native tongue with all the heartfelt honesty of a young possum in a winter hen house. 
    • 1 A Romantic Story in Ozark Vernacular English
      “Well ain’t you pertty as a chrome skull on the hood of a Chevy drivin’ down a paved road,” Junior smiled as he took off his hat. Kelsey Lou Faye didn’t care for the dress her mama’d made for her. It waddn’t pretty like Dolly’s Coat of Many Colors. Kelsey Lou’s mama had stitched this dress with bitterness and spite — the kind that attracted the attention of good ol’ boys like Junior.
    • 2 Stretching in the Fog
      The morning air was foggy enough to see it wasn’t still, and still enough to not see anything at all beyond the cloud. Looking out the upstairs bedroom window, Kelsey Lou Faye tapped her fingers against her thigh without any particular rhythm. She knew the sun was up ‘cause the fog was gray instead of black, but there was no knowin’ how long now it’d be before Ma’d wake up and start makin’ the whole family wish they’d died in their sleep.
    • 3 The Walk
      The Ozarks produced some of the finest, most inspiring folks theyd’ve ever met, just as it had also beaten and stripped them of their life’s potential in the same swift stroke of God’s paintbrush, the very moment God seen fit to place them in the U.S. South on the divine canvas of possibilities.
    • 4 Class
      Kelsey Lou felt the weight of this truth, sittin’ beside Mr. Bybee smackin’ dip under his lip in American History. Even though he was asking for her homework, not sex, it felt the same. Fact was, she’d said no, and he wouldn’t take the answer she gave him.
    • 5 Growing Seeds
      Kelsey Lou and sister Karly Lynn must team up to protect one another against the forces of Patriarchy encroaching on their garden, invading their home, and squashing their hopes for real romance – or their futures – to ever blossom.
    • 6 Searching for Stories
      The mystical magic of the Ozarks takes Kelsey Lou for a strange ride as she goes on a quest for information to help her sister – and reckons with unexpected aspects of herself and her community along the way.
    • Kelsey Lou and James walking out of the Dickson Street Bookshop, where an unhoused man stands in the corner behind them leaning against the wall
      7 I, Too, Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
      Kelsey Lou had never heard a real romantic story in Ozarks vernacular English before. But here… James told this story of unintended, quintessential romance in their native tongue with all the heartfelt honesty of a young possum in a winter hen house. 
    • 1 A Romantic Story in Ozark Vernacular English
      “Well ain’t you pertty as a chrome skull on the hood of a Chevy drivin’ down a paved road,” Junior smiled as he took off his hat. Kelsey Lou Faye didn’t care for the dress her mama’d made for her. It waddn’t pretty like Dolly’s Coat of Many Colors. Kelsey Lou’s mama had stitched this dress with bitterness and spite — the kind that attracted the attention of good ol’ boys like Junior.
    • 2 Stretching in the Fog
      The morning air was foggy enough to see it wasn’t still, and still enough to not see anything at all beyond the cloud. Looking out the upstairs bedroom window, Kelsey Lou Faye tapped her fingers against her thigh without any particular rhythm. She knew the sun was up ‘cause the fog was gray instead of black, but there was no knowin’ how long now it’d be before Ma’d wake up and start makin’ the whole family wish they’d died in their sleep.
    • 3 The Walk
      The Ozarks produced some of the finest, most inspiring folks theyd’ve ever met, just as it had also beaten and stripped them of their life’s potential in the same swift stroke of God’s paintbrush, the very moment God seen fit to place them in the U.S. South on the divine canvas of possibilities.
    • 4 Class
      Kelsey Lou felt the weight of this truth, sittin’ beside Mr. Bybee smackin’ dip under his lip in American History. Even though he was asking for her homework, not sex, it felt the same. Fact was, she’d said no, and he wouldn’t take the answer she gave him.
    • 5 Growing Seeds
      Kelsey Lou and sister Karly Lynn must team up to protect one another against the forces of Patriarchy encroaching on their garden, invading their home, and squashing their hopes for real romance – or their futures – to ever blossom.
    • 6 Searching for Stories
      The mystical magic of the Ozarks takes Kelsey Lou for a strange ride as she goes on a quest for information to help her sister – and reckons with unexpected aspects of herself and her community along the way.
    • Kelsey Lou and James walking out of the Dickson Street Bookshop, where an unhoused man stands in the corner behind them leaning against the wall
      7 I, Too, Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
      Kelsey Lou had never heard a real romantic story in Ozarks vernacular English before. But here… James told this story of unintended, quintessential romance in their native tongue with all the heartfelt honesty of a young possum in a winter hen house.